I Have a U-Haul; I Am Slightly Afraid to Use It

Well Then

After eight days, over 3,500 miles, three road-trip partners, three meals of fried catfish, five bean-and-cheese burritos, 16 states, two casino jaunts, one trip to “George Bush’s coffee house,” six meet-ups with friends and family, one pair of broken glasses, several interesting and amazing stops at incredible and out-of-the-way attractions, and many other things that could be listed, I have made it to Los Angeles.

There are many things I would like to do to provide some sort of conclusion for this trip blog, such as post all my photos. But I took over 600 of them, so that is not ideal or logical (I’ll see about putting them up on Flickr or the like). Here’s another picture from Natural Bridge, AL, though, because seriously, that place is gorgeous.

One thing that is necessary is issuing a hearty thank you to everyone who helped me out along on the trip, providing food, shelter, and/or companionship. Jaime, Sage, Matt, Mike, Mr. and Mrs. Hill, and Uncle Don, it was so wonderful to see you all. And I need to issue an extra-special thanks to the following fine trip companions:

Driving across the country — especially its backroads and small towns — is awesome, humbling, creepy, heart-filling, weird, terrifying, and beautiful. I want to do it again immediately. Seriously, just look at all this America waiting to be explored.

I’ll post here when I’ve uploaded all my photos. Thanks for following me around for a bit.

Please Hire Me for a Road Trip TV or Web Show

Hello, potential employer. I am an effervescent and excitable comedian who would like to travel around America finding interesting things and sharing them with a viewing audience. I will bring along a rotating, interesting cast of characters, and I am happy to shill for products. For example, Rob’s male-enhancement beverage:

I will also wear a padded bra if you so desire. Here is a bonus picture of Rob after he drank the thing. You can tell how great it made him feel!

My mother has informed me that not only was she in LA before, at the age of 15 for a high-school Latin conference at USC, but the race riots started while she was there.

Final U-Haul mileage: 3601

Today Is Move-In Day

I hold little hope for myself in a new city if I am that incapable of buying all the pieces of a new bed without the assistance of four different Ikea staff members. After that Ikea trip, I accidentally drove the U-Haul around one-lane, two-way roads in Hollywood Hills before we ended up at our swanky, “old Hollywood” Best Western for the evening.

Today I move in to the new apartment, get rid of the U-Haul (although I have grown rather comfortable driving it, and in many ways love it dearly), and try to get various services and things set up. Did you know that about 50% of apartments in Los Angeles (according to one man I spoke with) don’t come with fridges? Mine is one of them. I also need to set up my internet still, and I’m not sure when I’ll even have electricity and water (it might be sometime tomorrow). So if this thing goes without posts for a few days, know that there is an option other than me being dead or injured. I do plan to update it with a proper wrap-up at some point in the future, though.

For now I’ll sign off today with a few notes about radio across America (the U-Haul isn’t equipped with any other music-providing devices):

  • "Forget You," the radio-friendly version of the Cee-Lo song, is the most popular song (that I recognize) across the United States right now.
  • I have developed a great fondness for “Like a G6,” a cheesy but highly danceable song that Rob and I heard on our leg, and I finally heard again two days ago.
  • There is a lot of Springsteen, Aerosmith, and Billy Joel played everywhere (duh?). On the day of the Billy Joel Bedtime Stories, “Anthony’s Song” was rather appropriately the third song I heard that day.
  • The music I most wanted to hear that I didn’t was Talking Heads.
  • I caught one station playing a special “High School Meg” block of Lit’s “My Own Worst Enemy” and Local H’s “All the Kids Are Right.”
  • The most surprising song that I expressed an interest to hear and then did the next day was “Bei Mir Bist du Schön.”

Firming up my arrival anxiety by visiting Ikea before reaching LA proper.

Insane wind corridor on I-10 with hundreds of turbines = worst driving of the trip. It’s like trying to move through shaking honey.